I’m Probably Going to Delete this Blog

If for some reason anyone is actually seeing this, I’m more than likely going to be deleting this blog soon. I’ve imported it’s contents to my new site at mynameislucas.com, not that there’s anything of use there either…I’m just saying. So…come bother me over there instead.

Look Hot Naked? Not THAT Naked!

Look Hot Naked? Naked is sans-clothing, not sans-skin! Maybe you’d look hot to folks like Ed Gein, but I don’t think the general populous will consider this in any way “hot!” I’m sure the ad links to some site pushing the latest fad in shedding stubborn pounds, but I pray that the weight-loss industry hasn’t run out of ideas and is now recommending more drastic solutions. Sure…technically if you take off your skin, you’d weigh significantly less, but it’s not exactly practical, is it?

A Lot of People Are Affected by Alzheimer’s

I think I know what message they were trying to get out, but don’t you agree this ad reads a little funny? Apparently every 70 seconds someone develops Alzheimer’s, and when they do 5.3 million Americans are affected by it. I don’t believe that is mathematically possible for one person to affect 5.3 million people. Nobody knows that many people!

It is estimated that 5.1 million Americans have Alzheimer’s Disease, and if each of those Americans affect another 5.3 million, that’s (calculating…carry the one….divide by gross national product of Uganda) 27,030,000,000,000 Americans affected! Over 27 quadrillion! Considering there’s not even 7 billion people on the entire planet, I guess I’ll have to assume some crossover.

This Guy is Far Too Excited About the Weather

I’m sure you’ve seen this video already. It went viral like all videos worth watching do. I just think it’s funny enough to share. I don’t know the story behind this fellow, but it seems to me that he’s gay for rainbows (not that there’s anything wrong with that). “What does it mean?” the man ponders. “What does it mean!?!?” It means you need to lay off the bong, hippie! It’s cool, but it’s not THAT cool. Now, here’s a tissue. Go clean yourself up.

Also, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing, here’s a rad auto-tuned video in tribute to over-excited, crying, hippie rainbow guy. Enjoy.

Crusty Old Dudes Need Refinancing Too

Here’s another example of a generic web ad, where you wonder “what the fuck are they trying to say here?”

The text in the ad is obvious. You can see similar ads all over the place, but why this picture? Why not a happy homeowner standing in front of his house, with a shit-eating grin, a wad of cash in one hand, and a thumbs-up in the other? Even a very generic photo of “banker shaking hands with customer” would make more sense.

This picture most definitely does not entice me to consider refinancing. I don’t see a connection between a sad old hippie and refinancing to save money. Perhaps some people will make a connection, especially if those people look like crusty old wizards. Maybe that’s the target market. Who knows?